The urge to write has overtaken me completely.

From the outside looking in, you would probably think nothing out of the ordinary is happening in my life. But in reality, some pretty big changes are unfolding.

Tycen turned one.

There's something about that first birthday that changes everything. Even if your baby has been the clingiest little person from day one, it's like a quiet sense of independence suddenly begins to peek through. He looks different. He understands more. And the biggest change of all? He's learning how to sleep on his own.

I'm so proud of him.

But if I'm being honest, I'm also grieving it.

It was in that moment that I realized just how much was changing.

Again.

Somewhere along the way, I devoted my entire being to my baby. Every part of me revolved around him, and I didn't even notice it happening. Now it seems like I'm the one who is refusing to grow.

No one really talks about this part of motherhood. The part where your baby starts becoming more independent, and suddenly you have pieces of your own life handed back to you. You have time to think again, and you're left wondering who you are outside of being someone's mom.

I cherished those moments while I was living them. I never assumed they'd last forever. I just never imagined they would disappear this quickly.

The truth is, I'm not trying to get my old life back.

I'm stepping into a completely new one.

I just don't know what that life looks like yet.

As someone who usually has a plan for everything, uncertainty has never been comfortable for me. But this season has taught me to loosen my grip a little, to trust God, follow my intuition, and pay attention to the quiet things that keep calling me.

Lately, that calling has been writing.

Maybe that's because writing has always been where I make sense of change.

So, this is me listening.